i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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