just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
