i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize