I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
