apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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