I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
