I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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