u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
