You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
