So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
