It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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