Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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