Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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