I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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