She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
