I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
