I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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