; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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