she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
