I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
