I think I died a long time ago.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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