i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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