Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
