Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
