bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
