I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
