I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
