On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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