my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
