For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
