just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
