no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
