yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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