It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Text me some of your sweat
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
