I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
