btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
