I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
