I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
tell me about the eggs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
