I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
