im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
God I need to hump something, right now.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
