I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
