...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
