living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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