he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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