Cold hands, warm shart.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He has the fingertips of a God
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