I am spending my child support on dildos
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
