i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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