I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
