I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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