When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
