Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
