I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need a shit load of segways right now
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
