I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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