So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
