Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
