so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
