oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
