that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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