I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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