Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Terrible idea I love it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
