Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
