you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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