ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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